The Martian and I each have a commitment to a path of growth – individually and together. Our view of it is:  everything that happens in our lives is fodder for growth. We also believe that we create what we need to work on. Today I’m noticing how patterns from the past come creeping in. These patterns I see I am having trouble letting go.

When I was a child I felt very put upon because my mother spent a lot of time lying on the couch while she had me cleaning and sweeping and ironing. Sounds gruesome doesn’t it? For a 10-year-old to have that much housework? Well, I’m 66. Isn’t it time I give it up? (What I understand about my mother now is that she was probably deeply depressed and couldn’t make herself do what she was having me do. She probably told herself it was OK because I had to learn how to do that stuff anyway.)

So here’s my opportunity: Now I have not only a husband who gives me many opportunities to get piss-y and victim-y about stuff put in the wrong place – particularly not my place for the stuff, leaving things unfinished and for me to clean up but now I have my step-daughter here doing the same! Her thing is that I think she wastes food – another big deal from my childhood. (Looking back at this now that she’s moved out, I can’t believe such a little thing bothered me!)

Now these things are very small stuff in relationship to who these people are to me and what they contribute to my life not to mention, I want my step-daughter here to give her the opportunity to change her life that she could so richly use and my husband is sterling in every other way.

So really, this is my stuff. I want to learn to see it, do whatever I do about it and have no problem letting go to stuff going on inside me. It’s uncomfortable and very old and very unneeded.

So I guess a little gratitude will be a good antidote. A list of the things I am thankful for always helps me in letting go of unnecessary garbage. I am grateful for today:

• writing on a blog
• having a computer
• having the best husband I could ever imagine
• having such great, honest relationships with my kids and step-kid
• having wonderful friends
• living in Southern CA
• living in such interesting times
• knowing the tools that I have
• being able to help people learn the stuff I’ve learned

That’s it for today. I feel much better.